Dicas de Tradução / Translation Tips: JOKE OF THE DAY

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Rose Polato

Experiência de mais de 30 anos: 10 anos na Divisão de Engenharia de empresa norte-americana; 5 anos no Iraque, como tradutora da Mendes Júnior (construção pesada); 3 anos em empresa de auditoria (uma das Big Six) (auditoria, contratos); 20 anos em diversas áreas (+-8.000 currículos para Catho e Manager; +-40.000 laudas de tradução). Tradutora Pública e Intérprete Comercial (Juramentada) aprovada em Concurso da JUCESP(Ano 2000), Certificate of Proficiency in English /University of Michigan [EUA-1973]; International Legal English Certificate-ILEC/University of Cambridge (Inglaterra-2007].

Atualizado sempre que possível.

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Você sabe que é um tradutor quando...

...se identifica totalmente com a música abaixo!

FIVE THOUSAND WORDS
(Lyrics and music © by Sharon Neeman)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9KbQyrxSIo

The clock showed close to quitting time;
my desk was almost clear;
I thought perhaps I'd slip

around the corner for a beer -
But the phone rang - and I answered -
and a friendly voice said "Hi!"
It was the secretary of a legal firm nearby.
She said "Oh, please excuse me

for calling this late in the day,
But we have a new petition

in a case that's under way;
Can you translate it by tomorrow?
Any time by five will do -
'Cause we wouldn't want to give the work

to anyone but you:

It's: only: Five thousand words

for tomorrow at five;
I thought "I'll do that easily;
I'll scarcely have to strive,
" So I smiled and said

"No problem;

I'll just add it to my bill,
And you'll send a check on Friday?"
And she said "You know we will."

I set to work at eight AM;

I cut my lunch date short;
By five the stuff was ready

to be filed before the Court;
I sent it off by email and

I poured a cup of tea -
And the phone rang -

and I answered -
and a lawyer asked from me:

"I've just leafed through your translation,

and I think it's very good,
And I'd like you to translate an affidavit,

if you could;
It's the size of that petition -

well, perhaps a little more -
And you know that I'd be grateful if

you'd have it in by four;

It's: only: Six thousand words

for tomorrow at four;"
I thought "I'll get up early;

I've a longish day in store,"
And I shrugged and said

"No problem;
I'll just add it to my bill
And you'll send a check on Friday?"
And he said "You know we will."

I hit the desk at seven and

I ate my lunch alone;
I never touched the Solitaire or

gossiped on the phone;
At four o'clock I sent it off and

shook my weary head -

And the phone rang -

and I answered -
and the junior partner said:
"I really have to thank you

for a job superbly done,
And I'm sure you'll be delighted,

'cause we've got another one:
I've just finished my summation,

and you know how glad I'd be

If your excellent translation

could be on my desk by three:
It's: only: Eight thousand words

for tomorrow at three;"

I thought, "It won't be easy:

but I'll have the evening free,"
So I sighed and said

"No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,

And you'll send a check on Friday?"
And she said "You know we will."

I started at five-thirty,

and my lunch was just a snack;
At three I typed the last few words

and sent the email back;
I flexed my aching fingers

and I silently rejoiced -
And the phone rang - and I answered -
and the senior partner's voice said:

"You really are a wonder,

and your talents are unique -
In fact, that's why

we've kept you very busy all this week;
Now, I know that it's short notice,

but I have to count on you -

For the Judge needs my rebuttal

to be on her desk at two:
It's: only: Ten thousand words

for tomorrow at two;"

I thought, "How can I tell him that

it's just too much to do?"

But I groaned and said

"No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,

And you'll send a check on Friday?"
And he said "You know we will."

I staggered in at four AM;

I never ate a bite;
But I got it done by two,

although it was a trifle tight;
I was dizzy, I was queasy,

and I thought I'd never budge -
But the phone rang - and I answered -
and by God, it was the Judge!

She said, "I know you're tired,

and I really hate to ask,
But there's no one in the city

that can do this one last task:
For I've handed down my ruling,"

and she gave a modest cough, "

And at one PM tomorrow,

the courier takes off:
It's: only: Twelve thousand words

for tomorrow at one;
" My mind screamed "No, Your Honor!
There are things that can't be done!"

But the words came out "No problem;
I'll just add it to my bill"
And it's been four months since Friday,
and the bastards owe me still!

3.14.2012

JOKE OF THE DAY

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2014

Rose Polato

Atualizado sempre que possível.

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