EDGES / BOUNDARIES

Pushing Your Edges - Gently
by Suzie Heumann

“Don’t reject anything you are experiencing. Meet it instead with a brief moment of non-judgmental awareness – touching it and letting it be.” From Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood.
Tantric practice invites us to push our boundaries, just a bit, so that we experience something new and unique, not about the ‘thing’ we do but about the way in which we experience and then handle the situation. There is a profound practice that is essential for any Tantrica – nonjudgmental witnessing.
It looks like this: “I’m noticing that I’m beginning to raise my voice.” or “I’m really feeling grateful and happy right now.” Period. Nothing more - nothing less. It isn’t: “I’m raising my voice and that’s going to get me in trouble.” That statement is judgmental and inflicts a little ‘ding’ on your psyche whenever you speak it to yourself. In the same respect, it isn’t this either: “I’m really feeling grateful and happy right now and I deserve it.” Yes, you deserve it but even adding that piece to the simple acknowledged presence of the ‘feeling’ contains elements of judgment.
This is a practice that helps you pay attention to how you are feeling, to what your gut is telling you. You already know, in your psyche, that that means you are becoming angry or that you are feeling proud of being deserving. You can go on to simply notice that fact. Don’t judge your self, don’t think about what you should-of, could-of done, don’t do anything to take yourself out of the ‘feeling’ mode of the witnessing.When this ‘witnessing’ becomes second nature it will nurture your spirit and lead you to greater understanding of who you are. There is no higher goal in life than to find out the details of the real you. That is the beginning of a beautiful relationship – you loving you!"